The Big City

Now, obviously, my profile says that I live in Lexington, Kentucky. Well, anyone who lives in Lexington knows that the picture at the top of this page is not from Lexington, but rather the great city of Seattle. I chose this picture because Seattle to me, besides being one of my favorite cities, seems to be the place where my conscious search for modern romance began. Before Seattle, it seems I just sort of fell into love (or lust) without trying. I sort of let it lead me and determine my path. After Seattle, it seems I have been more proactive in my approach to love, more determined to be happy with myself and know what I want in love rather than letting it determine the path of my life. Not that I woke up one day and just decided this, or that it just happened overnight. Like most things in life, it was a process; but everything just seemed to reach a turning point while I was in Seattle.

It was the first trip I ever took completely on my own without having at least someone there that I knew when I got there. It was also the first place I've ever been where boys hold hand (and girls, too) wherever they wanted to instead of just in gay bars or gay neighborhoods and no one seemed to care. Everyone just seemed to be whoever they wanted to be without worry. This is the way it should be, and my idealistic mind relished in the idea that there was actually a place where it might actually be possible.

Everything in that city seemed to speak to me: the friendly people, the fresh food, the art, the culture. I walked through the new sculpture park along the waterfront on a gray but still lovely day. I was struck by a sculpture consisting of several benches, a rotating sign and a small tree. At first glance, not impressive, or rather not immediately discernible until you interacted with the piece, walked in, around, and through it. Once I did this, it became apparent that there were letters strategically painted to form two words, Love and Loss, crisscrossed at the Os. The rotating sign was an and (&) symbol. It spoke to me. How often were the two interconnected, almost inseparable. How appropriate for me to experience such a thing at a time when I was dealing with two huge losses, and with it love gone awry. Not to be melodramatic, but it felt like I was meant to be there right at that time in my life, like Seattle was a reflection of myself.

And so, I've chosen a photograph from my time in that place, as one of many markers signifying a new beginning, a paradigm shift, the start of a new search for modern romance. And if that doesn't exist, then maybe I'll have to make some up myself.