Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Ins and Outs of Sexual Compatibility

For a Man and a Woman, it’s fairly straightforward. The man has the penis; the woman has the vagina for him to put it in. The top and bottom roles are already defined. Well, unless you get into to strap-ons or that sort of thing, but we won’t delve into that here. The point is that once you leave that straightforward relationship, the lines get a little fuzzy. Suddenly you have two vaginas, or two penises. Now what? Well, obviously we all know how sex works, we all have holes; but the problem comes in when the roles start being defined. Or rather, in finding someone that in compatible with you in the bedroom in an already minimized field of play.

Think about it this way. The old adage is that 10% of us on this earth fall into this pink-card carrying category labeled ‘homosexual.’ That immediately eliminates 90% of the world from our range of possible mates. Then, of course, we have to consider that half of those 10% are of the opposite sex, cutting our numbers in half again, just like that. Perhaps that wouldn’t be too bad, except that once again we have to cut the numbers down when we consider that certain members of our group tend to prefer to use their genitals for the purposing of filling holes and other members tend to prefer to simply have genitals inserted into their holes, while still others could go either way (although some would argue that there is no such thing as a truly versatile gay man, but that’s a subject for another day). And then, there are those of us that have foot fetishes, underwear fetishes, wrestling fetishes, or the like. I’ve even heard of a man that had a haircut fetish. He went to the barber shop at least once if not twice a week whether he needed a cut or not. And even still, there are those of us that prefer not to have anal sex at all, or don’t like to kiss, or can’t stand the sight of male excretions. The list goes on and on.

Look at it this way, and it would seem almost an impossibility to find a mate that was both emotionally compatible with you as well as satisfactory in the bedroom. I mean, if you’re a total top bear who doesn’t like to kiss, with a foot fetish and a thing for nipple rings, what are the chances that you’re going to find a total bottom, who likes bears, who won’t kiss you, will let you play with his feet and, on top of that, mutilate his nipple for you? What is a guy to do? (Now I’m not saying I fall into either of those categories, but you get the idea). I’ve been in situations where I and my partner or possible partner seemed to get along wonderfully in general, only to find that there was something lacking in the bedroom (most often involving a top/bottom incompatibility). And then there have been those times when the sex was great, but we had nothing to talk about after the fact. Each experience cutting the ever dwindling playing field more and more. I sometimes fear that I’ll soon run out of possibilities altogether despite the fact that I know that idea is ridiculous. But how can I argue with the numbers? The situation is almost comical.

The real lesson, here, though, is to appreciate what we have when it does come along. Those of you out there with mates that have proven true and honorable inside and outside the bedroom, hold on to what you got and cherish it. Lucky devils! It’s a rare thing to find someone you can truly be compatible with in the long-run. But that’s the appeal of romance, isn’t it? Finding love, keeping it despite everything against you and against all odds. We may be at a handicap from the starting gate, but that won’t stop this guy from trying.

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