One of the most important things that makes each of us unique in this world is our completely individual and unreplicatable set of life experiences. No matter our place of birth, race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion, there is no one in the world that has lived exactly the same way and with the same complete perspective as you have. Siblings can come pretty close, but even with that, there are differences created simply with birth order if not by outside influences. Even identical twins are going to have some unique experiences that shape them in a different way then their genetic counterpart. It is the sum of all these experiences: relationships, interactions, life events, along with our genetic make-up that makes us who we are today.
What is the point here? Well, the same is true in the realm of love and all that goes with love: loss, joy, pain, fulfillment. Our capacity for love and our current view of relationships is a conglomeration of what we've experienced in the past, what we've seen others go through and what is right in front of us, the experiences that we are currently embarking on. We cannot mature and grow without experience, without loss and hurt and pain along with elation, joy, and romance. It is what makes us better people and ready for our current loves. It defines who we are in our current and future relationships. No matter how much of clean start we may try to make, our present will always be riddled with remnants of our past.
I have no regrets in life. I have to believe that everything we go through is for a reason and will lead me on my next journey and onto better things, even if the reason is not readily apparent at the time. I have made many mistakes in love, pushed too hard, not pushed hard enough, let things go that I shouldn't have, stayed too long, gave up too soon. I've been hurt, heart broken, lonely, unable to immediately put the pieces back together. But still, there are no regrets, because each interaction provided a lesson in some form or another, helped teach me who I am and what I want in life and in love. Without each and every past lover, boyfriend, trick, or experiment, I would be a different whole being today. It is the reason I carry parts of my past with me, to remind me of what not to repeat and what good thing to strive for in the future.
I admit that sometimes I get bogged down in recalling bad memories, in focusing more on what I have lost in my life rather than the abundance of blessings I should be eternally thankful for. The challenge is keeping the past behind us while still using it as the tool it should be in ever fine tuning our futures. Only in the past few months have I begun to feel more like myself, to feel more like a strong and stable individual after a long series of unfortunate events and general unrest. I am at the epilogue in the story of the past year and half of my life, at a point where I can look back and truly objectively look at what has happened without being too emotionally involved in it. It is now that I can truly learn and move on with good people beside me and healthy relationships intact.
It is that sum of what I have gone through, what I have learned along my journey that makes me who I am and makes me capable of loving another in a healthy and productive way. It is what makes me unique. It is why I am capable of truly appreciating the good times and knowing that the bad times will not last forever. It is what gives me the strength and the courage to continue on this journey, this never ending classroom called life.
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