Thank You Only Begins to Express

Before this Thanksgiving weekend is gone and we move onto the more complicated endeavors of this winter's holidays, I would like to take a moment to do what we are supposed to on this holiday, reflect for a moment and give thanks for the blessings of the year. Often we are so wrapped up in the gorging on turkey (although I'd say I could do without for a while, I am about turkey and dressinged out at the moment) and the shopping and the pumpkin pie that we forget sometimes to remember how blessed we truly are.

Last Thanksgiving, I spent the bulk of the day at work while half of my family spent the holiday in the Caribbean for a belated birthday celebration and the rest of the family spent the holidays at their children's houses or the like. After work, I went home and prepared a small meal for two, which I shared with a new love, in a new, rented house, and a smile on my face that hadn't been there in months if not years. For that moment, I was happy, or at least I thought I was. The only problem was that just a few weeks later, everything had fallen apart and I was stuck in an aimless, severely depressed state of confusion and angst. That's why I try not to think about last Thanksgiving, why I often wish it had never happened at all.

Now fast forward a year later, 2007. I stand in my kitchen in front of 12 of my closest friends, a new family I have created out of the ashes of an incinerated previous existence. There is an abundance of food on the tables and counter tops in my new, purchased home, and the drinks and conversation flow freely. I give a short speech, thanking everyone for coming and expressing my gratitude at having gotten to know each and every one of them on a much deeper level in the past year, which is the complete truth. Each of the people in this room before me has brought me closer to finding my true self again this year, has brought me love and guidance in times of deep despair. It is why I consider them my family, why I wish so deeply to spend this holiday with them in celebration of making it through a year of strife and constant change. But in saying this, I know that is has taken that fall into despair in order to build these relationships, in order to be in this place in this moment with these people the way that we are. The pain was necessary for my overall evolution.

And so, I give thanks today, for the help and friendship and love that I have received this past year. The unquestioning acceptance of me as flawed as I am, and the patience in allowing me to slowly find myself again. In that way, I am thankful for the pain, as well, for without it, I wouldn't be standing here as strong and so well surrounded with support and friendship as I am today. I raise a glass to all of you, and perhaps a turkey leg as well, and hope that you can truly understand how truly deep my gratitude reaches. Thank you all.

Happy Thanksgiving!