We Do What We Want

Ever invite him to go out to dinner with you and your friends, to which he says 'sounds cool,' but then doesn't show up?

Ever make lunch plans with a friend that end up not actually happening?

Ever have a lover say he wants to go away on a trip together, but then never quite getting around to making the plans?

Ever try to include someone from work in a social outing but never actually seeing them out or making the effort to actually show up?

Ever have a man tell you he loves you, but never take that step further into commitment, often even pulling farther away after he's said it?

One of my dearest cousins once said in a conversation of which I cannot recall the subject, simply that "people do what they want." It's funny how such simple words can hold and evoke so much meaning and understanding. It explains every one of the scenarios listed above, it explains most of our actions as human beings. Behind our feeble excuses: not feeling well, forgetting, or getting wrapped up in something else, it all boils down to this one simple phrase.

Why didn't Julie show up for the party? Frankly she would rather lie in bed and vegetate.

Why didn't Mickey go to work yesterday? He didn't feel like it.

Why doesn't Ann help her elderly mother like her sister does? She has better thing to do.

Why did Brandon leave Jim for Charlie? Charlie was better in bed.

Why didn't Henry answer or call Rod back? He was out with his friends and let it slip his mind.

Why did Joe say he loved Robert, but then go off without him to get drunk on Saturday and not reappear until Tuesday? On the first count, it felt like what he was supposed to say, and on the second, it's what he wanted to do.

We can't make anyone love us, we can't make anyone want to be with us, we can't make anyone do anything they don't really want to do. But where is the line drawn between independence and selfishness? Is there any sense of loyalty or obligation anymore? Does anyone go out of their way to help other people anymore?

If we all do what we want when we want to all the time, then how are we even really connected as human beings? Aren't we here on this earth together for some purpose, in some capacity to affect and assist in the lives of others? The connections and the relationships we build are, by design, a matter of compromise, a matter of melding two ideas, two lives together. If we only ever do what we want, then how is that possible? How is it possible to have any kind of meaningful relationship? Any kind of meaningful life?