Know For Sure Before Accusing

If there is one thing to remember when accusing a partner of infidelity it is that you should be sure of the action before doing so. If you go into it with only a hunch and it turns out not to be true, you've needlessly opened a whole vault of emotions and planted a seed of mistrust that cannot be taken back. Instantly you have told your partner that you believe him to be a liar or engaged in deceit towards you that could ultimately destroy your relationship. And if he believes that you do not trust him, it can breed resentment and a sense of being tested and trapped with a fear of always having to look over his shoulder for who is keeping tabs on him.

Have something to show him, something to prove that he is lying is he starts to deny the fact, if he starts to get defensive; but be prepared for the consequences if it turns out to be true. Once you start digging, there is no going back. If he is getting his sausage seasoned by another's spice, then have your game plan ready before you go after him. Know what you're going to do: put up with it, give him a second change, or move on and find a better man. If you are not prepared and know what you are going to do, you run the risk of being walked all over. There is no time to be indecisive in a situation involving cheating, if you are wishy-washy, if you let him believe that you're going to put up with it, you may end up putting up with over and over again until your heart is shattered into a million pieces.

In the end, when it's all said and done, infidelity is really a matter of trust. If he has broken your trust and gone behind your back with another, then you have decide whether you can ever really trust him again. And, frankly, from my own experience, I truly believe that there cannot be a mature relationship without an absolute level of trust between the two of you. When you are accusing someone of cheating, you are accusing them of breaking that trust; and if you break that fundamental foundation of the relationship, it's going to be hard to get it back.

Before you call him on his frequent unexplained disappearances, before you ask him who he's been spending his evenings with, where he goes on his own in the afternoons or while you're at work, just be sure that you it's true and be prepared for what's to come because of it. If you didn't sign up for an open relationship, then don't put up with it, but don't go accusing without a solid base to back you up.