If only things could stay the same for a while. If only once you found a comfortable moment in this life, one in which you had a partner you loved, a group of friends you could count on, had the most important people in your life near you and with you that it could stay that way for a while if not forever. It would be like achieving a goal of some kind, building each peace a little at a time, finding a great friend here, building a great relationship there, having a child, getting a dog, growing in a loving family. And once you reached that goal, that life that included everything and everyone you needed and you were happy, then that would be it. You would be there and be happy forever!
Oh, if only it were that simple. If only things really did stay the same. But of course the only thing we can be sure of in this life besides the fact that we will leave it someday, is that it will not stay the same, that the flux and change from day to day will forever be present. Things will never stay the same no matter how hard we try. Even within committed relationships, deep and lasting friendships, and family ties, there is always change. Our roles slowly evolve, our interactions vary and deepen or disappear altogether as we grow apart. We lose people to illness, relocation, disinterest. Always there is something different.
So if it is an unavoidable fact that things will always change, where do we go from there? Well, really, we have to make a choice from there whether to fear the change, dread it, worry about it and let it take over our anxieties; or to embrace the change and accept the challenge of changing with it and savoring the adventure of it. How often do we hold on to a job that we do not enjoy or hold on to a friendship that has gone stale or stay in a bad relationship because we fear the immediate change that it entails? We fear the unknown beyond the point of making that decision to leave and stay because of that fear. Suddenly we have to look at things in a different perspective: how will we find another job? how will we make it alone? what will it be like going out without him at a restaurant or bar? how will we split the furniture? who will get the dog? what would be like not to live here anymore?
So often we doubt ourselves in these situation. We question our ability to cope, or ability to start over in a new job, a new city, a new relationship (or lack of), and don't make the change because of it. It takes a leap of faith to do it. It takes guts. It takes courage. It takes an embracing of the fear we have and a faith in the fact that eventually things will get better no matter how bad it is in the meantime.
The thing about change, after all, is that we don't evolve as people without it. There would be nothing new to learn, nothing more to experience, there would be a finite amount of life to live and it would be over all too soon. Without change, life might just get a little boring.
First I have to apologise for only being able to read about a 1/4 of this post - I badly need glasses and the white on black became a blur! lol
ReplyDeleteStill, I think I caught the gist of it - maybe. Change is good, and I agree without it life would be pretty boring indeed. Still, a little bit of comfort in having stability is something I wish would find me more often!