Inspiration

It would seem sometimes that the average gay relationship lasts about 18.2 minutes, or in other words, the length of a half-hour sitcom minus the commercials. How quickly some of us move from one person to another these days, bored with one, off to next. Every once in a while, though, there is a story of hope, a relationship that has spanned the years and proves that it can be done if you work at it and put in the dedication. My mother is a skeptic; she doesn’t believe it is possible. She is resigned to the idea that I will be alone my entire life. Thankfully, I have a little more hope than that. After all, two of my dearest friends are all the proof that I need that it is possible. They are my biggest source of inspiration, and certainly have been wonderful enough to get me through some very hard times.

They met at the gym of all places, which makes me love the story from the get-go, because it was not in the contrived reaches of the internet or at a cruisy bar. It was out in real life, doing real things, where things should happen in an ideal world. And from there, they went on to fall in love, care for each other, and build a life together. They’ve been around the world together and have made it work for 15+ years (and in gay years, that’s like 4 lifetimes!) despite the ups and downs that we all face. They might argue and fuss every now and then, but deep down there is a love there that is hard to find no matter who you are.

While it is not my place to reveal their personal lives in this public forum, the point is that it is possible to love and be loved in a lasting, meaningful way no matter if you are straight, gay, or whatever you might be. All you have to do is look around you a little and open your eyes. They are not the only stable gay couple I know, either. They are out there, living life just like everyone else. To know that there are people out there like them is major comfort to me, that maybe someday I could find that kind of love, too.

I am ever grateful that they have included me in their lives. I consider them both very dear friends. It is because of them that I am focused more on the positive aspects of life, not afraid to take risks and enjoy my life and the people I am with. I kept a motto taped into my daily planner for a while, it said, “Enjoy the people you are with, while you are with them,” which is something I had forgotten how to do for a while, so preoccupied with everything around me, everything that I thought was going wrong with my life. They are my words to live by now, and I do enjoy every experience I have, it’s all part of the richness of what life can be if you let it. And if love comes along at some point in that journey? Well, icing on the cake.

Thank you fellas, you are truly an inspiration. I am eternally blessed to have such wonderful friends. I just hope that everyone has someone they can count on as much as I’ve counted on you.