A Test of Friendship (part 2)

To continue our story, we will turn the focus now from my former lover to my one true and justified HIV scare. Once we left the restaurant, I asked him if he thought I should be tested. I could tell from the look on his face that it would devastate him forever if I came up positive. His personality was such that I knew it would eat at him with guilt forever. He told me that the doctors at home had told me that he could have contracted it as many as ten years ago. We had been together in that time frame, so it was decided that I would get tested as soon as possible. There are strains out there these days that work much faster and make you much sicker, much quicker; but there was no point in taking any chances.

I took the threat seriously and made an appointment at the health department for a few days later. I made my partner at the time go with me to his extreme reluctance, but I didn’t want him to take any chances, either. The procedure was basic, taking some blood and waiting for a result, but the thought of the implications are what made the procedure so difficult. I was counseled by a nurse on safe practices and asked a series of questions in regard to sexual and drug practices. All things I was familiar with and nothing that surprised me. What went through my head were thoughts of being ill, losing my friend and family, never having sex again. It made me suddenly mortal. Death was suddenly a real possibility. I thought about what my former lover had gone through, what his life was like now, hardly ever leaving the house, not having enough energy to do the things he used to enjoy, taking so many medications he could hardly keep track, endless doctor appointment, feeling isolated from everyone. I didn’t want to go through that.

Everything came out alright in the end, I tested negative. I am glad I had the scare, though. That may sound funny, but it really sobered me up in regard to being safe and getting tested regularly. I am tested religiously every six months now, every January and July, and I am always safe in regard to my practices. There is no point in taking any chances, I know the consequences. A few minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of pain and isolation. My former partner is always there to remind me, too, and that makes him a great friend. I just hope it doesn’t take a personal scare like I had to make others diligent in safety and responsibility.