It's Just A Little Sting, But It Hurts Nonetheless

No matter how over someone you are, no matter how long it's been since you've even thought about him, no matter how deep you are into a new relationship, it still stings a little when you find out one of your exes is seeing someone else.

It's funny all the nonsensical things we say when we end a relationship. I wish you the best, I see great things in your future, I hope you find someone to be happy with. If only we actually meant what we said. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he just said, "I'm over it, your not what I want, bye," and just walked out the door without another word. Maybe it's the fear of coming off as an asshole, or just the cowardice of facing the truth, but few of us have the courage to do it that way. So often it strolls along in an up and down roller coaster of confusion and betrayal until he finally ends it, or he finds someone else. Yeah it's gonna hurt, but personally I'd rather just pull the bandaid off all at once. Of course, it's different if you're deep into a relationship, but if you've only been dating a short time, just cut it off at the root, move on.

I might have said myself to a boyfriend or two that I wished him the best, that I hoped he found happiness, but frankly I don't think I did at the time. In trying to be mature, trying to move on, trying to be an adult, I have honestly made a sincere effort to wish happiness for all my past loves, boyfriends, and flings. But deep down there is an evil part of me that just wants to see some of them live the rest of their lives in misery, unhappy and alone as retribution for the heartache and pain they left behind. As wrong as that may be, I can't deny that it is down there somewhere. And today, it has reared it's ugly head once again as I somehow came into the knowledge today that not one, but two of my previous love interests are off into new worlds of romance. While I want to be happy for them as I have honestly moved on and am once again happy with my life, it still stings a little to know.

The thought will pass, I know. I have enough, almost too much, to occupy my time these days. There is no use in dwelling on the past. I could really use a photograph to burn right now, though, or a voodoo doll to stick a pin into, or a punching bag.....