Let's start with case 1. Several years ago, my best friend was a man a few years my elder. We had gone to school together and continued a friendship afterwards thought the beginning of our careers. Much of that time was spent almost like a couple of teenagers, playing video games, watching movies, and drinking, sometimes to extreme excesses. Basically, we found whatever trouble we could find. Never was there a care or worry about finding a lasting relationship on either end (although I was deeply into a long-term relationship myself). But then he turned thirty. A few months before the big day, he started looking for dates a little more seriously. He started frequenting the bars where the women hung out, and started a serious of short relationships one right after the other. There were times that we were stuck at the same house after a long night of drinking, and I would be in the other room (or sometimes even in the same room) where he would proceed to have sex with whichever woman he was with at the time. It's a funny thing to watch a head bobbing up and down underneath a blanket, but it is also rather disgusting. Every week there was a new story, a new romance to talk about. And when he spoke of them, there was an urgency in his tone. He was looking, the green light was on. Then November came, and so did a blond who could drink him under the table (not an easy task by any means). Suddenly there were in love. They lived in different cities, so on weekends he would meet her half way and procure a hotel room for a few days of passion and tequila. When that got tiresome, he took a job closer to her and moved away from the city we were living in. He was enveloped into her. He became almost a completely new person, and before 9 months had passed he was married and disappeared from the world he knew before. All almost entirely in his 30th year of life.
Now, let's move on to case 2. In this scenario, we see another friend with whom I've spent many a night drinking, partying at the bars, chasing boys, etc. All seemed to be good enough, life was good and full. Her birthday came around, the big 30, in December. She started to get a little ancy. Suddenly is became more important to find a lasting relationship, to hold the interest of someone. By January she had met him, by February she was engaged, and by the first of August she was married (nice wedding, but the way). Everything seems to be working, so far. At least she hasn't disappeared from the world like in scenario 1, but the timing seems all too familiar.
Scenario 3. My cousin and his wife have been married for just a few years. When they both turned 30, it became apparent that it was time to have a baby, at least for them. Suddenly she was pregnant and now there is a new child in the world. Does 30 suddenly mean that you must procreate or die a shameful death?
Scenario 4....well, that's enough, you get the idea.
Yes, I suppose it is natural to feel your age at times. 30 is a milestone, one that is fast approaching these old bones; but does it require us to suddenly so miraculously "settle down.?" Is it that we are growing up and become responsible adults, wanting lasting relationships, children, and a stable future? Or is that we become desperate and cling to the first real possibility of long-term companionship? (We certainly don't get smarter or more mature just because of the number). In the end, does it really matter at what age our relationships start? How many 40 and 50 year old people are there our there, newly divorced or widowed or simply starting over? Just because you choose someone at 30, does it mean that it will last or have more meaning?
I'm hoping this fever, this 30-year-old sickness does not take over my brain as the dreaded year hits. I'm hoping to avoid the usual worry. I once wrote a poem that was published in one of my college's anthologies of student work. It was called "Quarter Life Crisis." If I was losing my mind at 19, what chance do I have at 30?
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