Internet Date Much?

Frankly, at times, I find the whole idea of internet dating, chatting, cruising, or whatever you want to call it, rather humorous. It is such a contrived situation, basing an introduction on a couple of pictures or a paragraph of information, which most of the time simply states things like “Hot and Horny,” or “Hungry Bottom, For Your Pleasure,” or the funniest, “Looking for Something Special, I’m More Than Just a Big Dick,” followed by a picture of a big dick and that’s all. But then, of course, there are the ones that think they’re clever, stating something to the effect of, “I’m tired of seeing nothing but ass shots or pictures of your penis, be a man, show me your face. No pic, no chat.” You’ve got to love ‘em for trying. And how many variations of the word top or bottom or the city you live in combined with the word boy (or the euphemistic boi) can these people come up with? Bottomboi27, bttmboy69, topguy4u, nightdude24, topniteinlex, lexguy15, lexingtontop4boibttms. What’s next, topsometimesbttmothers4boisorboysdependingonmoodatnightorduringtheday694fun? Get creative people, they all look the same!

Let’s be honest here, though. It’s the picture that’s going to grab your attention, maybe a blurb or two out of a short profile, but that’s it. So does it really matter what you write about yourself. What I love is the guys with no picture at all, and little or no profile. The ever ‘discreet’ internet user. He’s usually an older man, probably been married, or afraid of people at work knowing about his cock-worshipping habits. “I’m discreet, don’t have any pics, but can I see yours?”

Someone told me it was better to meet people on the internet because it forced communication. Well maybe that’s true sometimes, but lets review a typical conversation.

Guy1: hi
Guy2: hi
Guy1: wassup?
Guy2: nothin’ just chillin’
Guy1: that’s cool
Guy1 (again after a minute or two of contemplation): what do you get into? Or simply, u lookin?
Guy2: maybe
Guy1: are you a top or a bottom?
(and here it can go one of two ways)
Option 1:
Guy1: all top
Guy2: cool, looking to bttm here. What part of town you in?....

Or Option 2:
Guy2: usually bottom
Guy1: I’m looking to bttm, too. (Click. End of Conversation)

Wow. What communication! Three-fourths of the time, you don’t even get a name out of these guys much less an occupation or general interest. It seems to me we’re just setting ourselves up for constant disappointment. It’s like a tiny world of immediate acceptance or rejection: yes I’ll talk to you for a few minutes, give you a chance, or no, you’re not my type, I can tell from your torso picture. At least they can’t see the hurt on your face when they won’t respond to your “hi,” or you can pretend to keep your cool as you cheer or grin real big when a hottie sends you a ‘wink.’

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had many actual conversations in the chat rooms, actual guys that have something to say, but none of us can deny that this isn’t how is goes a lot of the time. A good conversation happens about once every 20 guys you start talking to, if that. A lot of guys I’ve talked to say that if you ask a penis size or if you’re looking right away, they won’t even respond. This may be a good policy, weed out the hardcore whores; but the good ones won’t start out with that. They talk to you for a bit, a little small talk, “how was your day? glad to be off work, myself,” or, “what do you do?” And then they bring it in, “Stats? Are you masculine? What do you get into?” It all turns out the same in the end. But what gets me is the guys that start talking to you, they make the initial contact, and then they run out of things to say. Personally, I don’t know how to respond to that. Either learn some conversation skills and come back, or just get to the point, i.e. when and where are we going to have sex if in fact we are going to. Talk about modern romance!

But I guess it’s the one in 20 guys or so that actually have something to say that brings me back every once in a while (although less and less frequently these days). It’s these guys that you get personal enough with to get a name, maybe an occupation, and if you’re lucky, a few of their interests, like a favorite band or food. And then maybe you get to go out to lunch, or the lucky fellow is smart enough to ask you out on a real date (if there is any such thing anymore). Sometimes you even get a friend out of it. Of course, only about one in another 20 of those actually ends up being what you thought they’d be in person, but that’s a subject for another day. Happy hunting.